Monday, December 28, 2009

thoughts, the precious ones in need of care

I've decided that I'm moving. Somewhere. Somewhere else new. I don't think I can LIVE and be capable of LOVE here anymore. All the ones that had insurance on my life and love have gone away or are preparing to. Being dramatic is something I hate, but sometimes the truth is very dramatic.

Recently, I've been offered a room and board in Australia with one of my friends and pen-pals, Miss Bianca J. She likes the idea of having an American living with her and her (from what I've heard) lovely boyfriend and I love the idea of moving out somewhere as far as Australia and the completely new adventure of it.

Before I move there sometime in the summer (when it's cold, winter-time there) I'd like to move back to Ohio or even possibly, Alabama. Somehow, a good number of my friends now live there and that fact is kind of frustrating. I still don't like it and don't want to live there permanently, but maybe, just maybe for a 2-4 month period or something.

Honestly, I just see no more reason to stay in Naples. There's no fuel for my fire, my drive, my ignition; I'm worn out, quite tired of trying to find a job in a city full of skinny, tan blonde things and losing inspiration fast. My world seems to be on the west coast or in some other country far far away. Every time I hear about a neat shop or fair I'd like to go to it's in San Fransisco, Seattle, Chicago, Vancouver or somewhere else on the west coast. I'd really love to move to Vancouver, I could maybe get a job with the company my Dad works for; but with the Olympics coming up, it's most likely way too expensive to live there, even to rent.

I hate sounding like such a brat, really, but I'm so exhausted, emotionally, I don't know how to deal with the tiniest things like dropping silverware. Losing touch with one of my three best friends has been a bummer, barely seeing the second while she's home is killing me (even though I know I'm not the only person she wants to see and the only friend who misses her, it still hurts), and the third is busy with work. Looking back, I know there were much worse of times of loneliness and exhaustion, so I don't want to complain any further.

Mail seems to be one of the few things keeping my awake and looking forward to something every day. So on days like today when there's NOTHING but bills, it just puts my sad mood into an angry one. People experience that every day, I know I know, but for someone with 20+ pen-pals, it can be quite the frustration-booster.

Anyway, on a lighter note, wanted to let you know that in the next two weeks I will be putting together my mail and mail-art blog! I've been taking photos of mail sent and recieved the past couple months in anticipation, but the thing that's been holding me back is a catchy name. (Such as the fabulous Missive Maven.) So far all I've got is The Mail Maiden or the Maiden of Mail; but to me, that sounds too much like 'The Missive Maven' and like I'm a copy-cat, you know? Well, here's thr proposition - With the words featured below, help me figure out a name for my mail/mail-art themed blog, and you'll receive something special in the mail from me! I'll post some photos soon to show you my handy-work with mail-art and love of vintage stamps so you'll get a glimpse of what you could be receiving. :]

Feel free to add more of your choice words, but here's what I've got so far:

Looking forward to your ideas!
- L


Bianca J said...

Sad to hear you're been feeling a bit drained lately miss. I hope you can just find a place to be (physically or otherwise) that makes you happy. Mail is definitely a good uplifter. I'm going to put another little pc in the mail for you today. I'm going to spend the day trying to think up cool blog names for you :) Can't wait for your little letter.

Megan said...

Sorry to hear that your feeling so down! If it helps I put your letter in the mail today so i hope it will get to you soon and put a lovely smile on your face! By the way 20+ penpals that is incredible! And moving to Australia a BIG YES!

Kaylyn said...

Had not even seen this post when I wrote mine, don't worry! I wrote mine out of pure happiness, not in response to yours :)
I do think you need a move, seriously. So you can find your own place that defines exactly who you are and want to grow into being


The Missive Maven said...

So sorry you're down, but I agree with you about getting away from Naples. I am going to write a lot about that in my next letter to you.

Thanks for the link, and I am honored that you like my blog name! It was a stroke of inspiration for me, but I like your ideas, too - and I can't WAIT to see your mail blog!